


hand in unlovable hand

by enby_gerrydelano (Starful_nights)



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Aromantic Peter Lukas, Asexual Elias Bouchard, Asexual Peter Lukas, M/M, aromantic Elias Bouchard, gratuitous overuse of ellipses, just aroace old man husbands who pretend they hate each other, love confessions but also no, peter lukas having a crisis when he realises he doesnt actually hate elias, when is this set? idk! getrudes alive and smartphones exist thats all i know, you know that one clip where big boy man is peters ringtone? looseley based off that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 01:48:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29585403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starful_nights/pseuds/enby_gerrydelano
Summary: It was the hundredth anniversary of him and Jonah Magnus meeting, back when he was someone else but stopped pretending for one of Fairchild’s horrid parties, and it seemed like Peter Lukas had to face his affections towards the other man.
Relationships: Elias Bouchard & Peter Lukas, Elias Bouchard/Peter Lukas, No Romantic Relationship(s), how do i even tag 'qpr but they lowkey hate each other'
Kudos: 16





	hand in unlovable hand

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in like an hour and just kept adding more with each edit so i decided its enough and uh. *jazz hands*
> 
> cw for mild internalised arophobia from peter at one point (right in the first set of ellipses, nothing after that)

It was the hundredth anniversary of him and Jonah Magnus meeting, back when he was someone else but stopped pretending for one of Fairchild’s horrid parties, and it seemed like Peter Lukas had to face his affections towards the other man. 

He was at sea, naturally. He always made a point of being away at anniversaries unless there was a new one planned. This was fortunate, because he didn't have to see Elias for quite a while yet, but it was also unfortunate as if there is one thing the Forsaken can do then it’s making you think. And right now, all Peter wished to do was not think. 

Peter wasn't the kind of man to love, he never had been and he wasn't now. He didn't think he was even capable of caring until, well, Jonah. (Deep inside him this made him feel even more inhuman than the whole 'magic fog powers thing', as one of his nephews put it once, but he also wasn't the type to admit this to anyone.) Jonah warned him that he didn't care about romance or sex, and the only thing Peter would get out of him was the alliances he could form with the Eye when they first met, and honestly Peter felt the same. It was nice to find someone who also didn't seem to care about these strange human things that seemed to be necessary to maintain a 'normal' public image. (However much he hated anything  _ public _ . Still, this seemed to apply to most of their other friends and allies, most of not all of whom were themselves allied to other Entities.) So they got married. A way of strengthening their alliance and keeping up human-like appearances. And got divorced. And got married again. It was...almost fun, in a way. 

And somewhere along the line he began to actually start caring for Jonah. How unfortunate. 

It was clear for both of them that they weren't simply business partners anymore, but they never discussed it. It was obvious that Jonah cared for him in some way, or the Forsaken wouldn't be fed as much with these trips, but neither were the type to talk. They saw each other rarely, and when they did, Jonah--Elias, right now--seemed to find enjoyment in throwing as many parties as possible, and Looking at him as much as he could. In turn, Peter hid himself completely when he was off boating (or otherwise avoiding Elias), and always made sure to keep their house (more Elias' than his, in all honesty, even though he owned it) as cold as possible before he started complaining. It was a delicate balance that would end in divorce after every small disruption, but where the line of disruption lied always seemed to change a little. It was a gamble, and Peter loved gambles. 

And so they circled each other with something entirely unlike and very similar to hatred, and even less like love, taking care to making it just similar enough to look realistic. 

Up until now, he thought that was it, an occasional-marriage to keep people off their backs, and a mutual almost-hatred. 

And yet, he found himself missing Elias. Even worrying about him sometimes. Strange.

As Peter stared down at the sea, all but invisible for all the fog, and realised that he cared for Jonah more than he wanted to--and ever would, probably--admit, both to himself and Jonah. 

He was shaken out of his thoughts when his phone rang, and realised with a jolt that he was smiling fondly as he recognised the ringtone. 

"I know what you’re going to ask, because you’ve asked it for exactly 223 times by now. This time, it’s in the kitchen, in the cabinet, above the sink. Didn’t see that coming, huh, little man? You’ve grown predictable in your old age." Another little game, Peter hiding something infused with the Forsaken’s power so Elias can’t see it when he leaves. Elias had always caved so far and asked. 

Elias' voice was smooth as velvet, dripping sarcasm, and hiding a smile nobody else would have noticed. Peter had missed this. (Fuck.)

"My dear Peter, no 'happy hundredth anniversary of our meeting'? No 'happy ninety-fifth anniversary of our first marriage'? No 'happy ninety-third anniversary of our first divorce'? Instead you come and insult me in my own Institute. Shocked, my dear, absolutely shocked."

“I haven’t been in your precious Institute in years, and I hope I can keep it that way, Elias. Now, do you have anything else you need to pester me with?”

“Maybe I just missed you, and was trying to convince you to be here next year for the hundredth anniversary of  _ that one ball _ . I could plan another one like it for the occasion.” 

Peter groaned. He didn’t want to remember  _ that one ball _ . It was pleasant enough, in the end, involving a nice long walk and discussing immortality and humans, but the rest of it, especially Fairchild--it was a strong factor in the beginning of their marriage agreement is best all said and the rest quickly forgotten. 

“I would rather die, Elias. For someone with such a knowledge-obsessed Patron, you seemingly keep forgetting what ‘Forsaken’ means.”

“And yet you still keep in touch with me, someone who has been around you for...well, exactly a hundred years. Seems foolish to me,” Elias said, and his smirk was almost visible to Peter, the way all of his faces seemed to twist into exactly the same shape.

“And yet  _ you _ still keep in touch with me, someone who has the power to block your Sight. Seems foolish to me.”

“Maybe we’re both fools.” The smile in Elias’ voice was stronger, and he sounded all but fond. Peter realised that he was smiling too; smiling like the fool Elias made him out to be. On a boat that was all but the Lonely, as well. He cursed silently. 

“That may be so. Nevertheless, try not to get killed while I’m gone. This is one of your better bodies, if the height and the colour of the eyes is unfortunate.”

“Oh, are you worried about me? That’s really darling, Peter, but for someone so relatively intelligent, you seem to keep forgetting what ‘Beholding’ means,” Elias parrotted, the smile returning back to the corner of his mouth from where it must have disappeared briefly when Peter insulted his eyes. Another intricate ritual. 

(Absence makes the heart grow fonder, indeed.)

“I hate you, you know. Now, if you’d mind, I have a ship to take care of.”

“Oh, you love me.”

“That may be so, but--” Both seemed to realise what they were saying at the same time and froze. Peter almost slammed the receiver down, but it was a smartphone and the scrambling for the ‘end call’ button was precious seconds. He all but threw his phone into the sea. What the fuck was that? He didn’t mean it, he knew that, at least not in the way people seemed to take it most of the time. He was fond of Jonah, which was not good for an agent of the Forsaken to say the least, but that was it. Right?

His phone rang again. Of course. 

“Peter Lukas.”

“You didn’t mean that, did you?” Elias was...worried? Peter huffed a small laugh.

“No, of course not,” he said, realising how true it was as he said it. Was there some Compulsion sneaking in there or did he just not believe himself until now? “I don’t do...that.”

“What, feelings?”

“And the tiny man with the God of Knowledge as his patron gets it in one, more news at ten.”

“I’m...the same way, just so you know.”

“You  _ better _ be,” Peter snorted. “I’ve been hanging around people too much, what with Breekon and Hope’s latest wedding and Evan’s funeral and whatnot, I couldn’t handle someone  _ loving _ me. Fog, the funeral was a depressing affair, though. Too many people.”

“It was the combination of the soap opera that’s going on in Research and the wedding, here, most likely. I’d like to apologise again.”   


“It’s fine. Still, Jonah,” he said, realising how much he missed calling Jonah that before he made Peter put a conscious effort into his new name(s), “I meant what I said before that. I may not love you--and thank the Fog for that--but I care about you, unfortunately, and I’d rather not have to go in and find you a new body so soon. I’d hate to break the streak of three years without entering the Institute.”

“Of course you wouldn’t.”

“So? Everything fine over there?”

“As fine as can be,” Elias sighed. “Do visit soon, okay?”

“As long as you don’t drag me to a party within two days of being back in London.”

“We’ll see.”   


“Of course you will, you’re with the  _ Eye _ .” 

“Do stop making puns, dear. You’re worse than Tim Stoker. Not only do I need to listen to him get involved in two separate love triangles, but his jokes too. What I said about Research being a soap opera? I meant that literally. Be the one person to spare me.”

“Only if you don’t leave such good openings for them,” Peter grinned. 

“I hate you. Stay safe.”

“You too,” Peter sighed. 

**Author's Note:**

> i dont know how romance works and so neither do they <\3 honestly this is just me shouting 'they care each other! but not like that! also they hate it!' for 1.5k words. hope you enjoyed the banter in between the crisis moments
> 
> leave kudos or a comment if you enjoyed, it feeds my soul like watching creepily does jonah's. go check out my tumblr @ never-tried-eating-cologne if you want, i sometimes post horrible lonelyeyes concepts and other tma stuff


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